Cut To The Chase: We're Parents! & CD Is 39 (Again)

Proud Parents
Originally uploaded by jakeyd.

Last night and this morning we practiced the answers to all the questions Galina told us might be asked:

• What was the process you have undergone so far? [Galina: Be specific, using dates, citing the language from your petition, and acknowledging Otis’ very significant health difficulties. Remember – your first visit to the BH was on the 21st, and you saw three children.] [CD to Mel – Note no revisionist history here!]
• How did you choose Rachman?
• Can you deal with Rachman’s health condition? How?
• Explain why you’d want to adopt an infant at your ages.
• Why are you adopting from Kazakhstan as opposed to (a) some other country or (b) the United States? [Galina: Our agency recommended KZ, and Candace has a colleague who adopted successfully from KZ. In the US there are more prospective parents than children, so given our ages, the wait would have been too long.] [CD: Galina was highly unmoved by my statement that almost all of these answers were untrue. We of course prepared to answer it Galina’s way.]
• What will happen to Rachman if you die young….. not unlikely given your health condition?
• What childcare arrangements have you made? [Galina: Candace will say that she is going to take six months off, then work part time and hire a nanny.] [CD: Again, this is, at best, half true. It also seems weird since all KZ women seem to work, including when they have young children. But see above re doing it Galina’s way.]
• Why are American parents so often abusive of their adopted children? [DJ: I’ll say this for Galina, it is a lawyer’s job to prepare his/her clients for the absolute worst that can happen. However, it’s usually phrased something like: “It’s unlikely that this will happen, but it’s my duty to tell you that…..”]

We got pretty good at our answers. Therefore, it was to be expected that none of these questions was asked. Instead……..

We had an 11 AM appointment. It was already in the 90’s when we arrived at court 15 minutes early. We are in the bungalow district described yesterday; court itself is a nondescript building that looks a little like one of those elementary schools that were built all over the US in the ‘70’s. As with all courts everywhere, there is a crowd milling outside that appears to be that everywhere-the-same mix of civil litigants, defendants, families, cops, lawyers, judges, and staff. This is a neighborhood/local court, in which, as in Mass., both civil and criminal cases are heard, albeit of fairly minor significance (except to those involved!) with, again as in Mass., an automatic right of appeal to a city-wide court. Presumably also as in Mass., the dispositions are structured to ensure few appeals.

We’re waiting for Galina to show up with the doctor from the orphanage and the representative of the Ministry of Education. At 10:59, Galina shows up with the doctor. We head up to a third floor (walk-up) courtroom and wait in the hall outside. Galina calls the Ministry of Education and is told the rep is on the way. She explains that we are also waiting for the People’s Prosecutor.

A few minutes later a tall, fifty-five-ish man with a full head of silver hair and a small but noticeable gut lopes past, wearing early Andy Sipowicz: yellow double knit, short sleeved shirt with blue and pink striped polyester tie; pale blue pants; and white belt with matching Kazakh square pointed shoes. That’s the Judge, says Galina, in fact, the Chief Judge of the court. He looks, CD thinks, like a thousand small town (especially southern) elected officials in the US, except that he’s a Kazakh. CD finds this very comforting.

At 11:25, no Ministry rep, no Prosecutor. DJ has sweated through his undershirt and shirt and can feel his collar getting damp. He is getting very cranky; fortunately (?), Zoya ascribes this to nerves. DJ asks Galina if the missing folks are coming from Astana, Zoya laughs and says, “New York!” the judge’s secretary comes out to complain about the delay, Galina gets her cell phone out again.

At 11:40, the Education rep shows - not the somewhat scary woman who interviewed us, but a young cute guy who smiles and winks at CD. Again, CD finds this comforting, and DJ grumbles some more.

We’re ushered into a combination Courtroom/Chambers, Judge greets us, tells us it’s going to be a couple of minutes until the Prosecutor arrives. He starts going through files on his desk. After a minute or so, he looks up at us and asks his secretary to turn on the air conditioner. After another minute or so, he picks up his cell phone, and, as far as we can tell, calls the Prosecutor and says: “Get your ass here, because I’m starting. I’ve got a noon lunch meeting.” Judge reads our petition aloud, asks us to stand up, and asks us:

“Are you sure you want to adopt this child? You won’t change your mind later?”

DJ, whom we’ve agreed will be the spokesperson, says, “Yes, I’m sure. No, I won’t change my mind later.”

Judge asks, “Why do you want to adopt? Why don’t you just have your own biological children?”

DJ starts to reply when Prosecutor (50-ish, nicely dressed Russian woman) comes rushing in.

Judge asks orphanage doctor what she thinks, she reads Rachman’s diagnosis and says we are A-OK with her; cute guy from Ministry of Education agrees. Prosecutor says, “I have no objection to this petition for adoption.”

Judge says, “I’m granting the petition of David Jacobson and Candace Damon to adopt this child, and to legally change his name to Otis Charles Rachman Jacobson.” He bangs his gavel, comes out from behind his desk, shakes our hands and then is out the door.

We are outside hugging each other before noon.