Maiden Voyage
This morning
It will come as no surprise to those of you who have done this before that, as far as I can see, parenthood is designed to make you feel immediately and totally inadequate. Perhaps a useful thing for middle-aged, big-for-their-britches parents, but…….
The immediate problem proceeds from some combination of (1) Otis’ being overwhelmed by everything since it’s all new, (2) missing his buddies at the orphanage, and (3) that damn schedule that he is theoretically on. Obviously, the orphanage had to run all the kids on the same schedule. In all conversations with the orphanage personnel, they lead you to believe that all kids adapt to this schedule and that you are getting a perfectly regimented child, who believes that life should proceed on this schedule:
6 Wake up for bottle of formula
6-8 Play
8-10 Nap
10 Eat cereal and half an egg yolk, drink diluted apple juice
10-12 Play
12-2 Nap
2-2:30 Eat vegetable puree and meat puree. Drink diluted apple juice
2:30-4 Play
4-6 Nap
6 Eat cereal
6-8 Play
8 PM Go to sleep
10 PM Wake up for a bottle of formula, then back to sleep until 6 AM
I do not believe this was ever his schedule. And it certainly isn’t right now. And it can’t be moving forward. (Who’s going to feed him a big breakfast at 10?) But the immediate problem is right now, there’s a little guy who is happy as a clam playing with us, being fed by us, and sleeping in our arms, but wails inconsolably once put down, which means that he has slept about a third of the time the schedule indicates and about half as much as I’m guessing he needs, and of course the lack of sleep feeds on itself…..
So at this moment we are doing what the adoption books say absolutely not to do: letting him cry himself to sleep… (The idea being that adopted kids haven’t totally bonded to you the way an 8 month-old bio kid would have, and they need to know that you are really going to be there.)
An hour later, still crying. You gotta give him points for willpower, anyway.
It will come as no surprise to those of you who have done this before that, as far as I can see, parenthood is designed to make you feel immediately and totally inadequate. Perhaps a useful thing for middle-aged, big-for-their-britches parents, but…….
The immediate problem proceeds from some combination of (1) Otis’ being overwhelmed by everything since it’s all new, (2) missing his buddies at the orphanage, and (3) that damn schedule that he is theoretically on. Obviously, the orphanage had to run all the kids on the same schedule. In all conversations with the orphanage personnel, they lead you to believe that all kids adapt to this schedule and that you are getting a perfectly regimented child, who believes that life should proceed on this schedule:
6 Wake up for bottle of formula
6-8 Play
8-10 Nap
10 Eat cereal and half an egg yolk, drink diluted apple juice
10-12 Play
12-2 Nap
2-2:30 Eat vegetable puree and meat puree. Drink diluted apple juice
2:30-4 Play
4-6 Nap
6 Eat cereal
6-8 Play
8 PM Go to sleep
10 PM Wake up for a bottle of formula, then back to sleep until 6 AM
I do not believe this was ever his schedule. And it certainly isn’t right now. And it can’t be moving forward. (Who’s going to feed him a big breakfast at 10?) But the immediate problem is right now, there’s a little guy who is happy as a clam playing with us, being fed by us, and sleeping in our arms, but wails inconsolably once put down, which means that he has slept about a third of the time the schedule indicates and about half as much as I’m guessing he needs, and of course the lack of sleep feeds on itself…..
So at this moment we are doing what the adoption books say absolutely not to do: letting him cry himself to sleep… (The idea being that adopted kids haven’t totally bonded to you the way an 8 month-old bio kid would have, and they need to know that you are really going to be there.)
An hour later, still crying. You gotta give him points for willpower, anyway.
posted by Candace and David at 7/23/2005 12:07:00 PM
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